Dying Is Your Lastest Fashion

man oh man life is busy...Hubby and I are going crazy with happiness...looks like RR is going to be out soon...J is totally stoked, he misses his buddy...apparently he's all cleaned up kids...get ready for a storm when he gets back :D

 

so my canadian buddies over there in montreal, quebec have an awesome album out called lost in city lights..go grab it...or whatever...deadend countdown is so great..its been on replay on my ipod since i first got it...OH...and check out a video on youtue called summer girls by STEREOS...so great!

 

uhm modeling has taken a big back seat...you know how hard it is to make it and sometimes it just gets to be too much work...oh well...my life is pretty dandy right now...

I might be going on warped tour this year...its not for sure..maybe...

 

"gimme some times gimme some reason

make up your mind, cool of the fever"

Wow. So much going on these days its hard to keep track of it all.

Would any of you guess from my photos that I'm native? Well its true, I'm half native half spanish. At the moment I'm in vancouver canada getting ready to audition for one of the la push girls in the new moon movie on sunday afternoon. I'm terrified. I'm not much of an actor so I'm excited for the experience but new things scare me! Wish me luck!

I keep forgetting to take my medicine, so all day my back hurts like a bitch, I broke my ipod the other day, so now I have no music, my man is still on tour, so I'm all lonely, and then he calls me up today and tells me that Telle from Greeley Estates has decided to leave the band! wtf! my favourite bands are all going to shit these days...I might as well quite while I'm ahead...76 DAYS THO!

From	*********
Date	10/08/2008 11:45 AM
Subject	hi
i read some of your blogs and i think ur a big fake and a fucking liar! how could you know ronnie radke or anyone from etf for that matter?  they wouldnt waste thier time on someone like you, you swtupid ugly bitch. i think u shuld stop pretending cuz no one believes you!

Okay, so I received that message awhile ago, and let me clear some things up:

One: I don't give two shits what you believe or don't believe.  The fact is that I do know Ronnie, not the whole band, although I have met them a bit.  I don't need some little snot like you, whose have way across the country presumably, to believe what I'm saying because you're just another person to me.

Two: it is possible for ordinaries like me, or even you, to know someone in a band.  Band members DID have other lives and friends before they got "famous", so it is possible.  Ronnie and my brother went to school together.  They weren't the best of friends, but they did hang out from time to time, sometimes he would even come round the house.  But I didn't get to know him through that. When I got older, my brother introduced me to one of his good friends, who coincidentally was a good friend of Ronnies too. We hit it off, even though he is almost 6 year older then me, and we've been together ever since then.  It's through J that I got to know Ronnie better. And when ETF started touring, Ronnie even took J along a few times.  So there you have it kids, that's my story.  Take it or leave, I don't need you to believe me, I just want to get it clear.  I don't pretend to be anyone or anything I'm not, and that's more than I can say for a lot of you out there. 

and people are going to hate me for it, but frankly, I don't give a shit.

ETF:

It's no secret whose side I was going to choose, even though I wanted to be neutral, but with everything that's happened lately, with all the nasty words exchanged, I chose the one who I've been behind before you guys even started.

I promised myself that when I heard your new stuff, I would be opened minded about. Even when I knew that no one could replace THAT voice, I wanted to give the "new you" a chance. But after hearing that, I just can't. It is not and will never not be the same without him, for me personally. Maybe it is because of the history there, but whatever the case, I just can't do it. I can't bring myself to think of you in the same way now. In my head, you will forever be my favorite band only when he was in the band. That's it, end of story.

and for you max...

from your old buddy ronnie <3

You are the one that deserves to be in this position.

YOU are the real culprit.

And if your fans only knew who you really are.



I love that shit that you wrote in vegas weekly... so im THAT guy now?? AND ALSO, i loved how you wrote that message that you were going to come visit me on the 4th on my myspace comments when you could've just written me a letter. You like all the attention dont you? And i found out the reason why you didn't come, you were talking to that kid's mom the whole time, stabbing me in my back. She said she went to your house the day before my court date but i wouldnt've shown up either if i was playing both sides.

YOU are the real reason im in here, because your too scared to fix your own problems. I just want to let you know maxwell, that your times coming. Trust me, your gunna get what you deserve!

I'm more clean minded than ever, Escape the fate is ME, and will ALWAYS be ME.

And YOU will forever live in MY shadows.




I'll tell you right now kids that it wasn't him who wrote it, but it was his message
I just wish he wouldn't have done it...
And that Max hadn't responded the way he did...
there is so much you all don't know
and so much you all don't want to know
it would ruin everything for you
so just go on thinking how you do
pick a side, because its better the way it is now.

I'm sorry. When I heard those words, oh man, my heart just fell to the floor. It's really a shame that you did this to yourself, but hey, life's a bitch and then you die right? Ha. Me and J are here for you, but J is really torn about the situation. We'll try and visit when we can, if we can. Just know we're here when ever you need us, despite everything that happened with you and J. Friends stick together, yes?

and ìm sure many of you have read it by now.  I wish that I could help him, but its his fault.  He`s dug himself this hole and he has to find a way out of it.  He knows I`m here for him, but he can`t seem to get the message through his head that we all wanted to help him.  Even when he was as screwed as ever, and said nasty things to us, and did all that shit, we were still here for him.  He`s still a friend in my mind, I`ve put all that shit behind me, because we were friends before he turned down the wrong path.  Now I can only hope that his fate is not what it seems its destined to be.

life could possibly be the best thing in the world.  Haven't moved into the new house yet because there are some issues, but it should be soon I hope.  But seriously, it's overwhelming.  I love being introduced as his wife.  The wedding was on Saturday, at Treasure Island in Vegas.  Friday night we were out partying and ran into Paris Hilton and Fat Joe. 

 

Right now I'm sitting doing nothing.  My back hurts.  I think I should go see a doctor about it because it's getting really bad.  Anywho, wish me luck on my marriage.:)

from Las Vegas Nevada kids...They are amazing....They pretty much made me cry last nite because they played our wedding song...how coincidental rite??  They're from Vegas, his home town, where we're getting married in FIVE DAYS ....

"I'll be your crying shoulder,

I'll be love's suicide

I'll be better when I'm older,

I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

I talked to them after their show, and explained everything and how they almost made me cry, and they were so sweet.  The bassist, Cash, was so nice.  He told me they would come to my wedding if they weren't on tour.  He and Alex (m) were like, "Aww, group hug, cry it out," and they hugged me, and when I tried to let go, Cash wouldn't.  And then after, I talked to Alex DeLeon, the front man, and told him too, and he hugged me.  Before I left, Cash and Alex(m) came to find me, and they both wished me luck on my marriage, and hugged me yet again.  The way cash hugged me, is the way I want to be held for the rest of my life by my fiance.  What a wonderful evening.  Cobra was good too, but Alex Suarez wasn't so into it last nite.

so anyway, it's five days away.  anxious, nervous, scared, excited, so many emotions to be felt.  Who knew??  Anywho, just thought I'd let you guys know what's happening. 

It's absolutely ludicrous. btw, that's my favourite word....i'm totally hooked on this song, by Raine Maida of Our Lady Peace. It may have replaced The Verve's Bitter Sweet Symphony as my favourite song of all time. In other news, last night was my 19th birthday party, and I spent it, of course, in Vancouver, Canada, my favourite city in all of this world. We went to see Silverstein, and yes, I may have been slightly intoxicated. I got a chance to meet Paul, and Ill Scarlett. (Once you have my job, you'll get these perks too. Infact, I'm going to be hanging ten with Cobra Starship on February 10th back in Vancouver, which may as well be my home because it's where all my friends are.) The wedding is mere weeks away, LAS VEGAS NEVADA FEBRUARY 16TH. there's still so much to do, but good news, the bride & groom bought a house together. Yup, it's blue and red, don't laugh. It's quite cozy.

Oh, we've come to a decision about our first kids name, well first girl, Isabelle Aurelie.

I'm more than sick and tired of hearing all these different stories about why he's out of the band.  If you don't know what the hell you're talking about, I think it would be time to fuck off.  Seriously, it's not bad enough that he's going through this shit, but you guys have to go around making up false stories or distorting the truth.  You're all being unfair, so just shut your mouths.

things suck. He is broken up about the whole situation and there's nothing I can do about it. Let's all just hope that can get himself better and in a state where he is able to make everything okay. Until then, I'm going to miss him.

I forgot to phone a certain someone on Saturday for his birthday.  Let's hope he's not angry with me.  As for updating my page with pictures, you can forget about that.  Everything for CAM is on hold until after the wedding.  But don't worry, I will write blogs for that girl who actually reads it, ( I think it's only because she's from Vegas too)

Tour cut short, tragically.  Not home yet, I painted the t.v. room.  I hope he doesn't get angry.  Things still busy, nothing to update, take care.

I'm sorry, I need to update my page and puts some pictures up, but right now I have hardly anytime to even log on and check my email these days.  The wedding is coming up soon, February 16th to be exact, and will be taking place in Las Vegas, Nevada, of course.  But so much still has to be done.

In January 28th, I will here in Vancouver, British Columbia (Canada, where I am at present), for my birthday party.  I will be going to see Silverstein, Ill Scarlett, The Devil Wears Prada, and Protest the Hero.  My friends and I will be riding around in a limo before the show, doing ridiculous things, and drinking some sweet beverages (Wink).  But in ONE day, I am going to see Alexisonfire, and I am quite excited about it.

A few days ago I had the pleasure of meeting Ms. Hilary Duff, who was filming a movie at a local high school.  Poor girl had her breast grabbed by a young male, and some students said some nasty things to her, which made her a bit disheartened and angry, but she is really quite a sweet person.  I look forward to meeting her again sometime.

Anyway dears, that's all I have time to write about now, even thought I have plenty of things to say.  Wish me luck, for I hope I don't get killed tomorrow at the concert.

Later Days,

Ms. Torch.

Only my second post, and I already have one reader.  How lovely.  Sorry I haven't updated in a couple of weeks, but things have been really hectic around here lately. Shoots, school, wedding plans (shh).  Photos will be posted soon, and yummy ones might I add. 

Until later days,

Ms Torch.

That's me.  I am rather proud of myself to be the first Candy Apple Model.  Not that any of you care because you don't know who the hell I am.  But that will all change soon.